Just Talk to Me
by Xfileschik0805
Summary: After the events of Pusher, Scully is confused as to why Mulder refuses to talk to her, or even look at her. The answer surprises her.


X-Files Fanfic

X-Files Fanfic

Pusher Post-Ep

MSR

**Just Talk to Me**

She silently took the gun he held out to her. He wouldn't look at her when he gave the gun to her. Then he turned completely away from her, putting his face in his hands. Even as the SWAT team surged into the room causing commotion all around them, Scully didn't hear them. Too many thoughts were running through her head, replaying those things that Modell had made Mulder do—and the one thing that he had almost made her partner do. She closed her eyes and saw it clearly:

The gun in Mulder's hand clicked as it attempted to fire a shot that wasn't there. "Piece of cake," Modell said. "Your turn."

Scully watched in horror as Mulder turned the gun on himself. "Mulder, no."

"Mulder, yes," Modell pushed. "Go."

"Mulder, listen to me," Scully tried. "Give me the gun. We can stop this thing right now. You and I can just walk outside of this room… NO!" she screamed as Mulder pulled the trigger with the gun to his head. She shouted obscenities at Modell as she silently thanked the powers that be for another empty chamber. "Mulder, hand me the gun!" she shouted, but Mulder shoved her hand away. A tense moment passed as Mulder turned the gun back towards Modell, unable to pull the trigger. Then he turned the gun on her…

"Agent Scully?" She was brought out of her reverie by a SWAT officer.

"Sorry. Yes?" she answered.

"Agent Mulder is non-responsive when we try to get a statement. Is there anything you can do?"

"Can it wait until tomorrow?" Her question was directed toward the officer, but she was looking at Mulder, who hadn't moved from his position in the chair. Although officers tried to get his attention as hospital personnel quickly removed Modell from the room to a place where they could help him, Mulder sat unmoving, face still buried in his hands.

The officer followed her gaze, nodded once, and called the rest of his team to him. As he spoke with them, Scully walked over to the chair occupied by her partner. She whispered his name, lightly touching his shoulder, and was surprised when he flinched away from her.

"Come on, Mulder, let's get you home," Scully said as she dropped her hand. She didn't mean to be angry, but she couldn't help it. After so many years together, they were supposed to lean on each other, to go to one another when they were hurting, not pull away. She knew he had been through a lot, but shouldn't that be all the more reason for him to look to her for strength? Although she wanted to tell him all of this, it was neither the time, nor the place. She would try talking to him later, when she got him out of this place and to more comfortable surroundings. Scully waited a moment, letting Mulder take his time. Finally, he stood up and quickly brushed past her to the door. She checked herself again before she threw her words at him and silently followed him out the door and to the elevator. Once inside, Mulder pushed the button for the elevator to take them to the first floor. It was an awkwardly silent ride in the elevator and an equally awkward car ride. Only when Mulder realized that they were not headed for Arlington but Georgetown did he finally speak.

"I want to go home," Mulder mumbled as he looked out the window.

Scully hesitated before saying, "We're going to my apartment, Mulder. You need to rest in a real bed, not on a couch."

"I want to go _home_," Mulder repeated rather fiercely.

Surprised at his tone, Scully replied, "If you want to argue about it we can do it at my place." From the corner of her eye, she saw Mulder look at her angrily, but she kept her eyes on the road and neither one of them said anything else.

Scully parked her car in front of her apartment building, and she and Mulder made their way inside. After yet another awkward elevator ride and a walk down a hall to her apartment, they were finally in a place where they could relax and possibly talk. However, once Mulder got into her apartment, he went straight into her bedroom and closed the door. Scully sighed quietly and followed his path, but when she tried to twist the doorknob to her bedroom, she found it locked. "Mulder?" she called.

"What!?" he replied tersely through the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked. She had hoped to talk to him when they got somewhere private. Through the door she heard her bed creak slightly the way it did when laid down on.

"You said I needed to rest so I'm resting." His voice was muffled, but she could still hear a certain tenseness in it that she wasn't used to hearing.

"Um, okay Mulder. Well, let me know if you need anything, okay?" When he didn't reply, she hesitated, wondering what she should do. She wanted to kick the door down and demand to know why he was acting toward her the way that he was. That's what she wanted to do… but not what she should do. She walked away from the door wondering why he refused to speak to her. They had certainly had their differences before, but they had always talked through them, and usually they just agreed to disagree. But right now, they hadn't even had a "difference." Whatever was going on had just come up, and Scully had no idea where it had come from.

Finding herself in the kitchen, Scully decided to make some tea, but she doubted that it would make her feel better the way it usually did. She chose a mint tea and waited while the water took a few minutes to boil in the teapot. Once the water was hot enough, she poured some into her favorite mug and let the teabag soak in the water for five minutes before she took it out. Scully threw away the used teabag, took her mug of tea to the kitchen table, and sat down to drink. She slowly sipped her tea, willing it to help her forget the events of the day. However, as she sat alone at the table, her mind began to continue the recollection she had begun at the hospital.

Scully was terrified as Mulder pointed the gun toward her. Her eyes widened in surprise and filled with tears." Mulder, you don't have to do this." Scully was determined to pull Mulder from Modell's grasp. "You're stronger than this."

"Your turn, Scully," Modell told her. "Gotta play by the rules. Pull the trigger, Mulder," he ordered. Mulder resisted, but Scully wasn't sure how long he could last.

"Mulder, fight him," Scully willed. "You can fight this."

"Come on, pull the trigger, Mulder," Modell was becoming agitated as Mulder continued to resist his commands. "She shot you. I read it in her files. "Payback time," he sneered. "Shoot the little spy!"

As Modell yelled at Mulder, Scully tried to think of something, anything, that she could do that could save her partner and herself. Glancing over Mulder's shoulder, she saw a mirror, and in the reflection of that mirror she noticed a bright red fire alarm on the wall behind her.

"I'm gonna _kill you Modell!_" Mulder threatened, but was unable to carry out that threat as Modell still had a hold on him.

"Yeah, pull the trigger and get another crack at me," Modell chided.

"Scully, RUN!" Mulder cried as his resistance began to slip. He whispered her name twice more, with a sadness she had never heard before. He knew what was about to happen and couldn't believe that he couldn't stop it.

So, Scully did turn and run- straight to the fire alarm behind her. She pulled the lever, causing the alarm to sound, in turn causing Modell's concentration to break. Scully watched as Mulder turned his head toward Modell with a look that almost said, "It's over, so guess what happens now." Mulder turned the gun on Modell and fired the bullet that had been meant for her.

"Where's my cell phone?" Mulder's deep voice startled Scully out of her memories. He stood on the kitchen doorway staring at a point just past her.

"Mulder, you scared me," Scully said, waiting for him to grin the way he did when he teased her or surprised her with something unexpected.

Mulder's expression remained blank, however, as he asked again, "Where's my cell phone? Didn't I give it to you in the SWAT van?" His eyes remained fixed on the spot just above her head.

"Oh, right. Yeah, I left it in the car. Sorry, Mulder, I'll get it later. Come sit down, and I'll make more tea, or I could make some coffee if you want," she offered.

"No. Thanks. I just need my phone."

"Come on, Mulder. Whatever you need it for can wait, can't it? Sit down and let's talk."

"I don't want to talk to you. I want my phone so I can talk to Skinner."

"Skinner? What do you need to call him for?"

Mulder sighed and ran his hand over his eyes. In an irritated voice he said, "Look, I need to call him, okay? Just give me the keys so I can go get my phone, or give me yours. You have his office number in your cell phone, don't you?"

"Yes, Mulder, I do. But I'm not giving you my keys or my phone until you tell me what's going on with you," Scully was getting irritated as well. She stood up and walked over to where he was standing, and still he looked somewhere close to her, but just beyond her. "I know you've been through a lot today, but what I don't understand is why you've treated me like crap ever since we left the hospital, and what I really don't get is why you won't even look at me!"

"Because I don't want to make transferring you out of the X-Files harder than it already is! I just want to call Skinner and get out of here!"

He tried to spin away, but Scully caught his hand, "Transferring me? What are you talking about, I'm not going anywhere."

"You are if it's officially on paperwork," Mulder said pulling his hand from hers and walking into the living room.

Scully brushed past him and snatched her keys from the coffee table in front of the TV. "Mulder, dang it, talk to me!"

Finally, Mulder looked her in the eye and the torture she saw in his own eyes made her gasp out loud. "What do you want to talk about, Scully? How I almost killed you today? Is that what you want to talk about, because I don't!" His voice cracked and tears welled in his eyes. He turned away from her and glanced around the room, his eyes landing on her cell phone on a side table near the bedroom door. He stepped toward it, but Scully raced past him again and grabbed the phone. She opened her bedroom door, tossed the phone and keys onto the bed and closed the door, blocking it.

"Scully, you are making this a lot harder than it has to be. Just let me make the call, I'll leave, and we can both get on with our lives."

"Do you really think it would be that easy, Mulder? Out of sight, out of mind?"

"It's better than putting you in danger every time I'm around you."

"Mulder…"

"Stop, Scully," Mulder interrupted her. "Don't you know what I was going through inside in that hospital? Looking at you, watching you stand there while I pointed a gun at you? Listening to you try to pull me out of Modell's grasp even though I could shoot you at any minute?"

"But you didn't shoot me, Mulder!"

"Only because you pulled the fire alarm! Scully, I don't know what I would have done if I had shot you. I wouldn't have been able to live with that! You've been through so much because of me, because of this quest. You were given cancer because of this. You aren't able to have children because of this. I almost _killed you_ because of this quest!" Mulder put his hands on Scully's shoulders. "I love you, Scully, and I am NOT going to watch you die for a quest that isn't even yours!" Mulder was yelling at the top of his lungs while tears streamed down his face.

Scully reached up and took Mulder's face between her hands. "Mulder, this quest is ours. I know we've been through a lot, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, too, Mulder and I'm not leaving you. I don't care what papers anyone signs, this is where I belong. Right here with you. Always."

"Scully, you can't want this for your life. You deserve to have a family, to have a normal life with the opportunity to go somewhere in the FBI. You stay in the basement and no one will ever take you seriously."

"You do. Even when we have differing opinions you still take me seriously and respect me."

"I meant no one who matters will ever take you seriously."

"I think I can decide for myself who really matters. I know where I want to be and what I want to do. I want to be with you no matter what. Mulder, I know that you would never let anything happen to me without doing whatever you possibly could to save me."

"You were abducted and I couldn't stop it."

"From what I hear you almost fell off of a ski lift and down the side of a mountain trying to get to me on time."

"I didn't make it."

"That's not the point… dang it… what do I have to say to make you see how much I love you and want to be with you?" She searched his eyes, trying to figure out what she needed to say. He seemed to be searching her face himself. "What are you looking for?" she smiled.

"You really feel that way? I just don't want to see you get hurt. I want you to have the life you've always wanted."

"The life I want includes you and the X-Files. I love you, Mulder and I'm not going anywhere no matter how hard you try to push me away."

"I love you so much, Scully." Suddenly he dipped his head and started to kiss her. Scully tensed in surprise for a moment, but relaxed when she realized how perfect this was. Mulder's tongue lightly licked her lips asking for entrance and she quickly granted it. His tongue inside of her mouth felt amazing, and as it thoroughly explored her mouth she realized how much she wanted to do the same to him. She roughly pushed her own tongue past his and into his mouth. He smiled slightly in surprise, but continued to enjoy the kiss.

When Scully and Mulder finally broke apart in great need of air they looked at one another and knew that the events of the day weren't going to drive them apart. Sure, they would always remember what had happened, but they would also remember that come what may, they loved each other and would always be together in a quest that they both shared.


End file.
